When I left the States this last time, I felt clear about doing 12 paintings for a show and bringing them back for a show in the fall in LA, and continuing to study my spanish.  My motivation is hard to maintain in the face of a nightly bout of loneliness, which I have not been successful in overcoming.  I hate to even bring it up,  as I know I am not a victim and I am in control of my own life.  Unfortunately, all my efforts to suppress, repress, divert, work thru, sleep thru, paint thru,work out thru, study thru, go out to restaurants and bars thru, it rears it’s ugly head, draining me of motivation to paint and study.  Acquaintances are nice and I have many here but no intimate connections.   I was hoping a wonderful Muse, would have magically appeared in my life by now, and I do believe that would be a great help, even though, I know it is an “inside job.”  All the training…I know…I have it all.  Still, I can’t help myself, Sorry!  I am supposed to trade a painting for a membership in the tennis club and start playing again…there should be somewhat of a social network through that.  Anywho, thanks for stopping by!  

To be posted around Antigua

Well, I had some fortunate luck today and met an owner of a private bus.  I went to San Antonio Agua Caliente to look at a Cooperativa, with my language class.  I bought a hammock for my patio and on the way home, I asked the bus driver who owned the bus.  In English he answered , “I do.”  I told him my idea for the weekly Movie Shuttle into Guatemala City to a Movie and Shopping Mall and he told me how much I would have to pay for the bus.  He has a small 14 passenger Toyota to use intially and then a very well appointed Chicken Bus with more legroom and nicer seats.  Attached is my brochure that I will , not use but it gives you the idea….the one I will use has movie images that I do not own the copyright to….and it is much more colorful and exciting…put in the characters from Avatar and the Chicken bus coming thru Galaxtic space and you will get the idea….

Hablo Espanol solamente

commigo, por favor!

Necessita Practicar!

Before I left the States I sold all my things, , or most of them, never intending to accumulate “ Stuff” again.  Minimalist, useful, items only, from here on out. I came to Antigua alone and liked it.  I moved here.  I have been here four months, with one month back in the States, selling my car.  I came back and spent the holidays here,  which for some could have been somewhat depressing.  After selling my car and visiting with friends, I was tired of mooching space and imposing on others.   I needed to be in my own place.  So I returned to Cental America.  My small quarters are comfortable, save the fact that there is no heat in my room and it is chilly in the morning and evening.  I want for nothing, really.   No matter  what, periodically, one gets hit by things, that your mind wants to seize and expand.   Negativity and sometimes, something I call  “ the lonelies.”  It takes a conscious process to overcome it.  Moving to a foreign country alone, is not for the faint of heart.   With all it’s positives, one can still find oneself,  periodically, in the early going wondering, “What have I done?”

Last night was not quite that bad, but I did take action and got out of the house.  I strolled over to Hector’s Restaurant, which I love, and find a comfort place.  It was full.  That was okay, because Hector and his American girlfriend were not there, anyway.   I rounded the Corner on Avenida Cinco and strolled along looking for an alternative.  The Indian Restaurant, was open but Felix,  a fellow resident of my complex, had left and it was not occupied.  I kept moving passing several familiar spots, finally arriving at the other end of town at JP’s Rumbar.  JP is a American from New Orleans, and he was behind the bar.  I had been there only once prior, during a private holiday party.  As I sat at the cozy little bar and ordered Shrimp Creole (Excellent and inexpensive), JP said Hello and introduced me to Mark, a fellow American, who, it turns out, has about a year on me.  He moved to Antigua with his wife and two kids, about 18 months, ago, and loves the place.  He has a great informative blog: www.guateliving.com.  We exchanged blogs and promised to get together to chat over coffee and settling-in stories.    A few other acquaintenances arrived and I spoke with Christine, from Wisconsin, in working for an NGO for a bit.  I headed home, well fed and no longer feeling alone.  Even though I spent 100Q, ($13) I had not budgeted and ate a brownie with vanilla ice cream, which I maybe should not have.  One can not sit in the problem.  You have to take action and stay positive.

Now to kick my painting back into forward motion!

I found my unplanned solo New Year’s Eve to be a tranquil, at peace journey, amid a sea of people, bands, street performers, firecrackers, food and fun.
I began the day, executing the purchase of my used 1993 Honda XR250 dirtbike and taking it for a ride around the hills of Antigua. It is exactly what I was looking for. A mechanically strong and durable bike that appear like a funky old piece of junk, hence not a target for theft.

I then walked over to a local restaurant and had a substantial tasty meal and headed back to work on the computer and try to catch up on some sleep. The first attempt at napping failed. Finally, I was able to get a nap later in the Evening waking at about 9:30, with absolutely no plans. I had turned down a few offers to join people but choose not to.

I cleaned up and headed out the door with my camera, feeling no angst about it and quietly observing that fact with some satisfaction. I was at peace, just be with myself.

I strolled thru the streets, taking pictures and just drinking in the night, the full moon, and all the people. Everyone seemed happy and even in smashing crowds, noone complained, pushed, or got angry. I ran into the Dutch contingent from Ninos Antigua, who had just arrived back from their holiday travels in the Parque Central and chatted. I bought some food from the street vendors and sat eating as fireworks filled the sky, bands played and people danced around the fountain.

I watched the New Year arrive, dropped by Cafe No Se and listened to the music and chatted with more friends or acquaintances, as the case may be and headed home about 2:30 am. Pedro was blasting a classical music concert on his big screen Projector in his room and I imagine pretty intoxicated. I went up and closed myself in to try and get some rest. Luckily I was able to get some sleep, even with the concert coming up thru the walls til 5am.

It is a New Year and I have so much to do! I am at peace and ready to get painting, studyiing and travelling. I wish you all a very healthy, prosperous and happy 2010! ( A few pics attached of my bike and the celebration)